Friday, 7 December 2012

the fear

Wow, it is Friday again.... I have no idea what we have been doing since I last blogged.

It has all been a blur with work.. I am trying not to get the FEAR....fear that I am running out of days!!! But then I take a deep breath and work on through it. I got loads done this week and out to customers, although I still have a long list of orders to work through. However tonight I am taking the night off, I NEED it, as been up to the early wee hours most nights this week...

I put our tree up last week; I made myself take some time out for that. I am creating all these things for everyone else, for their Christmas memories. But I need to make sure I take time to create my own and enjoy the season with Ethan! I still haven't found the right balance ... maybe 2013 will be better!!I just love unpacking all the Christmas kit, remembering forgotten decorations, adding to it with new makes or purchases. I got quite emotional looking through it all, thinking of the years. Thinking about my boy and how he has grown. I still hang all the decorations he made at nursery and school through the years, precious, precious memories! I do all this for my boy. This is why I work so hard. For HIM. But it isn't fair to him if I am stressed... breathe... and relax!!

I think I am missing the allotment, missing my special place. It is how I unwind, I find it really therapeutic. However there is very little I can do at the moment as the ground is frozen, literally.. but I know spring is around the corner. I still have plenty veg stores left, and winter crops.. I still get a kick out of this.. it’s like free food. Pure joy knowing I am cooking a mealthat I grew myself!

We also have some news, exciting and positive happy news. Can't and not ready to share yet (jinx!!)... but more soon...

Right, I am off now. It is Family Date Night and I have a boy to snuggle.

Em x

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